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A gushy reporter told Phil Michelson, "You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What is your secret?"

Michelson replied, "The holes are numbered!"

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Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5 iron standing over a lifeless man.

The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"

"Yes" says the woman.

"Did you hit him with that golf club?" "Yes, yes, I did."

The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face.

"How many times did you hit him?"

"I don't know officer. Five, six, maybe seven times....just put me down for a five."

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The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the alter, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"

He looked her in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day is it?"
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Enjoy the Masters this week! Someday I hope to go.